If you read this you must really be interested in who I am.  I’m only doing this to prepare for my Med School essay.  Enjoy! :)

I am a 26 year old korean american boy who grew up in a small town that has transformed  almost as much as I have.  I was a skinny confused boy who started school not knowing much about anything.  I learned song in preschool and picked up Spanish from Mrs. Navarro.  I would play with white, black, and some mexican kids in a small field with a small house.  I grew up with a black best friend named Nicholas.  He and I got into trouble all the time.  I always had a knack for getting into trouble.  I could never challenge myself enough when I was a little boy.  I did mean and spiteful things to gain attention from my peers, teachers, and perhaps even my parents.  I threw rocks at my pre-school trailer, I got into several fights with kids making fun of me for being chinese or japanese.  Too bad they didn’t know where Korea was, idiots.  I got into trouble with the law for throwing rocks at my neighbors and I got people into trouble with the law for misunderstanding my own culture.  I grew up with a unique bunch of kids.  I was always hungry for adventure.  I spent my days at school trying to be a daredevil on the monkey bars, a class clown/troublemaker, genius, and teacher’s pet.  I would always finish my homework on the bus or at school during free time because free time at home was much better than any sort of free time in the prison of a school I went to.  As soon as the bus dropped me off at my house, I would run towards the door taking my book bag off ready to chuck it inside and run down the street to go on an adventure in the “woods”.  A fellow adventurous friend and I would spray mounds of dirt with water to get worms to come to the surface.  We would take those worms and go fishing down the street where there was a small pond.  On days that were too hot for fishing, we would meander into the woods without any mental map of where we were headed.  Just walk in one direction away from the ordinary into the imaginary.  We found turtles, snakes, poison ivy, fallen trees, frogs, toads and all sorts of hills to climb and vines to swing on; a typical Huckleberry Finn adventure without poor Jim.  The forest was more of a home during those days than anywhere else.  Coming home to an empty house was never more fun than the adventurous forest.  Getting locked out of the house because I left the key inside was a great excuse to run around outside.  I always got into trouble for getting dirty.  Mom would yell at me constantly with tired eyes from working in the factory all day.  Of course, I was too selfish to really care because I was always looking for a grand ole time, which I usually found.  As we grew older and with every passing Christmas we would find new things to do, like play on Sega Genesis or Super Nintendo brought by Santa.  We got bikes one Christmas and that was the last year that we ever went into the woods on foot.  Trailblazing through uncharted territory we imagined ourselves to be daredevils seeking the thrill of a great jump.  Luckily nature had provided perfectly eroded mounds that formed a great obstacle course for any mountain loving child.  Up and down and round and round we would ride this course getting more air time as our confidence and familiarity with the trail grew.  Soon we had a labyrinth of trails that paralleled our entire street.  Peeping through a thin veil of trees, one could see a small asian and his country white friend riding the mountains of trails with ecstatic joy.  Of course the trails never got old, but every now and then we sought to amaze the neighborhood kids with stunning feats.  We created a ramp with plywood and a few 2by4s and with each successful landing we would raise the bar.  Friends would come and go, but I was always around.  Biking became the primary means of transportation and travelling 3 to 5 miles was an easy trek to spend time with friends from school.  Swimming in the neighborhood swimming pool and playing tennis daily was our last middle school adventure.  We had all decided to join the tennis team and my friends and I spent an entire summer playing tennis.  Mostly I would teach them, but they caught on fast and soon we were all wearing letters for making our not-so-great varsity team.  Music became a big part of my life in middle and mostly highschool.  It was my time of discovery.  I went from a shy, unconfident Korean in a predominantly white school to a big time, everyone-likes me, kinda guy.  I sang my first solo in 7th grade where I was discovered to have a great voice.  I soon became a musical star that performed all over the country and for many state competitions.  I scored perfect scores and attended several large group performances in which the audiences were well trained musicians.  I soon became a popular person, riding on the fame of uniqueness, likability, and talent.  I was always talented in many different areas.  I was one of the fastest runners, longest jumpers, and brightest trouble makers in the history of my school.  Named most likely to succeed/most talented among my friends, always class president (when I wanted to be), top pick for musical endeavors, first to disappoint hard studying peers with my zero effort 100s, and numerous other events of pride.  Pride was my biggest flaw.  Propaganda got the best of me.  Being told how smart you are or how talented you are can never bode well after 5 years.  I was poster-boy material, who could quite easily succeed in anything I wanted to and without much effort.  

Now the story is different.  It’s a wake-up call for the future.  (brain stopped working, I’ll pause here for now)

Today I remembered why I wanted to become a doctor.  I suppose it would be wrong to say I remembered, but rather reminded.  We easily forget why we do things and this is the very reason why we need people in our lives.  People who can remind us why we do things.  Those people can be teachers, coaches, pastors, friends, family, and even enemies.  For me those people are the broken, hurt, unfortunate, and unloved.  The amazing thing is that those people who seem so secure in themselves, so confident and outwardly blessed are those same people who are broken, hurt, unfortunate, and unloved.  People everywhere have pain and brokenness, some people readily accept these things and others avoid the thoughts like the plague.  I embrace my brokenness and it’s what makes me who I am.  If ever you thought that I was passionate about life, it was because I embraced a time in my life that had no passion, no drive, and no life.  Embrace as in accepting something and without regret because if you regret it then it will haunt you the rest of your life as something you didn’t do.  I embraced the realization that if I continue on this path it will surely lead to no where and that was somewhere I didn’t want to be 5 years, 10 years, 30 years down the road.  Passion comes from purpose and purpose comes from knowing who you are, who you were made to be.  There is true beauty in the broken.  I would much rather be broken and know that it’s part of me and do my best knowing that, than trying to be someone I’m not and never knowing that I can be better.  I want to help people, maybe too much, but I want to help.  But it is only truly possible if I help myself first.  The best kind of leader is the kind that never has to tell people that they are a leader, but rather show people by the way they live.  Actions do speak louder than words.  If I want to fix hearts, I have to fix my own.  If I want to love someone else, I need to love myself.  Love your neighbor as yourself.